In my free time, when I am not teaching Infant Massage Classes, I offer massage for adults. My specialty is pre-natal and post-partum but my training includes men and women who are not pregnant or looking to be pregnant any time soon.
This past week I had a new client come in for a massage. During the intake portion I learned two things about her.
1. She is a professional athlete and has extreme muscle soreness/tightness.
2. She had a miscarriage last week and is still feeling a bit off.
I have experienced a miscarriage as well and not the DNC, where you feel almost nothing and then it’s over. I experienced the cramping, bleeding, trying to get comfortable, pacing the floor in pain, miscarriage.
This woman, who I have never met before, we had a moment of understanding together. I shared with her that I too had experienced a miscarriage. I am sorry for her loss and know what she is going through. She told me how when it was happening, she felt okay but now that some time has passed, she feels up and down a lot. I interjected I felt the same way and that I called it Mr. Toads Wild Ride. My hormones were all over the place and sometimes I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh, cry or scream. With time this passed and my body balanced itself out again. I told her this would happen for her as well. Also, to allow yourself to grieve, feel whatever you feel and don’t feel sorry for it. Your body will rebalance itself and you will move on. This is only happening right now, not forever. Miscarriages happen a lot more often than people think. There is nothing to be ashamed of, or feel bad about. These things happen. It is what it is.
During the 3 minutes that we stood in the massage room having this conversation, I felt a sisterhood with this complete stranger. This is one of the many reasons why I love what I do. People helping people, women supporting each other. This is what life is all about, right? Helping each other through the highs and lows life has to offer.
We proceeded to have a wonderful massage and let go of some of her tension. Afterwards she thanked me for listening and understanding. I felt so good at having given her that time and a safe space to let go. This is why I do what I do. Feel the Love!
Valerie DeMasi LMT CIMI
Nov. 29th 2013